"I'm a black bitch"

Dan Lambert: "My MMA business is a full-time job, [Crowd boos] I just thought I'd be cool to come as an old school fan. The problem is there is absolutely nothing cool about Cody Rhodes and his entourage! Arn Anderson is one of my all-time favorites! But I see him with Cody and it just makes me sad, because now he's a guy trying to make a couple dollars sucking up to another guy who sucks up to THE guy. The man used to be a Horsemen, [see Note 1] and now he's just a whore! Which is the perfect segue to Brandi, [Crowd goes 'Ohh!'] and if that's her real name, she's the first Brandi I've ever known that wasn't a stripper!"

Ethan Page: "Woah woah woah, that's not CURRENTLY a stripper. [Crowd goes 'Ooh!'] Because, now, she's a [Ethan does air quotes with one hand] 'wrestler.'" [Laughs]

Dan Lambert: "Excellent point, Ethan, but we can't keep coming back here with stripper jokes or they're going to get very old and very tired, very quickly. Kind of like Brandi the last couple of years. [Scorpio and Ethan laugh in an exaggerated manner] That brings me to you, Cody! And I know how hard you tried to make it in this business. Traveling the world, spilling blood, breaking bones, crashing through tables of fire. Hell, you even went so far as to tattoo a Transformers logo to your neck that even Mike Tyson looks stupid! [Crowd cheers] You never really made it though [Ethan Page bows down and worships Lambert] until you cut a backstage deal with Tony Con-man to become his pet project and SKIP THE LINE OVER MORE DESERVING TALENT BACKSTAGE! [Crowd cheering and applauding] AEW fans may be IDIOTS, but even an idiot doesn't like the taste of that SHITSANDWICH YOU'RE SHOVING DOWN OUR THROATS!" [Crowd cheers]

Brandi: [Clears throat] "Who the HELL told you [Crows boos loudly] tonight was open mic night?! You bobble-headed, ugly-ass, less talented version of Paul Heyman!" [Crowd says 'Ohh!']

Dan Lambert: "I actually prefer Jim Cornette. [Crowd says 'Ohh!'] But, my god, the sound of your voice makes me wish I was back in that Minneapolis street fight, getting my balls stapled to my leg by Chris Jericho!" [Crowd cheers and applause]

Brandi: "Well, at least, my fam thinks that's funny, thanks. But let me ask you a serious question, Dan. When's the last time you got beat up by a woman and didn't have to pay for it? [Crowd goes 'Ohh!'] Because I-- I'll do you a solid. I will whoop that ass tonight for free." [Mild cheers and applause]

Dan Lambert: "Listen, Bambi! I'm sorry, I get my stripper names confused, sometimes, BRANDI! I am a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. There is not a single soul watching this show that does not want to reach through the camera and slap the taste out of your mouth, right now! [Crowd cheers and applause] And if I'm the lucky man who gets the privilege of doing that? LET'S GO!"

Brandi: "Oh, so-- so you're a black belt? Well, I'm a black bitch! Let's go!" [Crowd goes 'Ohh!'] [Brandi takes off her high heels while Scorpio and Ethan try to hold Dan back. Dustin then comes in to stop Brandi from starting a fight with Dan, Dustin gets blind attacked by Ethan, Dan and his gang leave.]

- Credit: Thanks to inmate JediSaiyanMaster1203 for transcribing this promo.

- Note 1: Arn Anderson was part of the legendary faction, The Four Horsemen.