Welcome to the biggest CAGE in the world

[0.0] "Pat McAfee. You could've had your pick of the crop of past wrestlers. You could've gone with Cowboy Bob Orton. You could've gone with either of the DiBiases (remember Legacy? The faction Cody and Randy were both in, yet we're not making much out of despite free money? ) Hell, WWE has proven it doesn't care about putting sex pests on our screens, so even Vince fucking McMahon would've been a better pick narratively than Pat McAfee. But nope, in comes Pat to sound like every Twitter mouth-breather Gen Xer on social media who hasn't grown up from the Attitude Era, to *checks notes* be in the corner of a man almost synonymous with the PG era. They don't know what they're doing, do they? This is like that damn "me and my friend Mark" promo HHH cut once upon a time where you're just needlessly shitting on fans who want to give you a chance but have low tolerance for "we're shit, and we know we are" antics. Especially when you're coming for the US Title Open Challenge despite that being the only damn thing watching on Fridays. Definitely much better than the SD women's division floundering (despite Rhea's best efforts) or former SummerSlam main eventer Solo Sikoa fighting over a fucking lantern. It gets to a point where you just switch off, I'm afraid."

[6.0] "After a decent start, match hits the shits when Zenk is in doing a series of really crap-looking arm drags. Shallow arm drags. Standing arm drags. Heels need to regroup here. Neckbreaker by Eaton on Pillman. Here we go. Another neckbreaker. 2 count. Lane in. Neckbeaker. Fucking get in! Sweet Stan with the kicks now. Eaton back in. 2 count. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker? No reversed into a slam. Pillman misses an elbow. Doubleteaming by MX now. Gullotine. Sunset flip by Pillman Just a hopespot. Drop toehold by Lane. Elbow drop by Eaton. POETRY. This FIP sequence is classic MX. Pillman starts a comeback and Eaton dumps him outside. HOT TAG. All of the fire drains out of the match as the Z-man comes in with zero passion or urgency. DQ finish is disappointing."

[8.0] "Both girls work super hard, Uematsu can throw a great punch and she is agile - selling is fantastic, great match."