"We're not gonna even make fun of your belt extender"

John Morrison: "Hi, I'm John Morrison and one time I beat Stephen Hawking at 44 straight games of parcheesi."

The Miz: "Parcheesi, really?"

Morrison: "Yes. And if Carl Sagan were there, I would have beaten him as well."

Miz: "And I'm your Chick Magnet, The Miz! This sunday is a very important day. Because at Unforgiven, not only is it the first ever ECW Championship Scramble Match, but it is where I, your Chick Magnet The Miz, in his hometown of Cleveland, Ohio, will become the ECW Champion. Now unfortunately, my co-host did not qualify for the scramble."

Morrison: "Yes. It is indeed unfortunate for all of my fans. But, speaking as a former ECW Champion, and someone who has been to the top of the mountain and had time to drink a soda, the fact that I didn't qualify for the ECW scramble match is totally bogus."

Miz: "I agree. Now, let's take a look at the other participants in the ECW championship scramble match. Our first guest is the ECW champion. He is the world's strongest man. Mark Henry!" [Henrys Musik ertönt und der Champion kommt mit Manager Tony Atlas zum Ring]

Morrison: "Tony, Mark, Welcome to the Dirt Sheet."

Tony Atlas: "I hope that we are not gonna have a repeat of last time."

Miz: "Absolutely not. We realized that we were very unprofessional with you. And we've learned our lesson."

Morrison: "That's right. As a matter of fact tonight Mark we're not gonna even make fun of your belt extender." [Mark Henry nähert sich daraufhin wütend Morrison]

Miz: "Whoa, whoa, Mark, he's just saying, he's just saying that he wishes that he had a championship belt to extend. But speaking of championships. Our next guest is the former ECW Champion, Chavo Guerrero!" [Chavo kommt zum Ring, allerdings haben Miz und Morrison Chavos Theme selbst A-Capella eingesungen und mit Furzgeräuschen ergänzt]

Chavo Guerrero: "Ha, ha ha. What is this, a joke? Is this a joke to you? It's funny time?"

Miz: "No, absolutely not. We don't know what happened. Actually, I'm kind of embarrassed."

Chavo: "Yeah, you know what happened."

Morrison: "Chavo, man, obviously there's some kind of snap through with the television production truck. We apologize. Kerwin? Kerwin in the truck, please come see us after the show. Ok."

Miz: "Now that we have that settled, Chavo, you're a former ECW champion. Are you excited about the scramble match?"

Chavo: "Yeah, I'm excited. Well, you know I'm excited. I finally get a chance to take back MY ECW championship. [Henry lacht] Yeah, yeah. Mine. The one Kane stole from me at Wrestlemania. Yeah, yeah ..."

Miz: "Kane stole ... Dude, that was like six months ago. You're still crying about that? I mean, no offense, but you sound kinda like a baby."

Chavo: "A baby? I'm gonna show you a baby..."

Morrison: "Whoa, whoa, easy, amigo, we're all friends here. Chill out. Speaking of babies. Our next guest Finlay unfortunately couldn't be here tonight. Because he couldn't find a babysitter for little Hornswoggle."

Miz: "However, we do have via satellite from Belfast, Northern Ireland, Finlay's brothers, Welcome Gentlemen!"[Miz und Morrison erscheinen verkleidet in einem Pub]

Finlay's Brothers: "Ha, Ha. Hey, we're the Finlay Brothers. And we remember when Finlay was young, he got his arse kicked by a girl... in the third grade...A girl...How can Finlay compete in the scramble if he can't even beat up a girl? ... Finlay wet his bed one time... one time? Finlay wet the bed every time. Finlay was eighteen... He used to wear these diapers made out of plastic. He could never get a date. Finlay's a loser... Finlay as a kid looked like this. [Morrison schlägt mit einem Plastikhammer Miz auf die Knie, der dann Hornswoggle imitiert]... Little short hobbit, leprauchan... I'm little Hornswoggle... There's something wrong with the fruits of Finlay's loin... Everything wrong with them...He's a loser, he's a bedwetter... He's gonna lose in the scramble... [Dann ertönt Finlays Musik in der Halle und der Nordire begibt sich mit Hornswoggle in den Ring.]

Finlay: "Hello brothers. Hornswoggle, say hello to your uncles. [Hornswoggle rennt auf Miz zu und verpasst ihm einen Tritt gegen das Knie.]

Morrison: "Well, that brings us to our next guest. Jeff..."

Miz: "It's Matt."

Morrison: "Whatever."

Finlay: "Hey, remember, Matt Hardy, the guy that beat you and qualified for the scramble? Matt Hardy." [Matts Musik ertönt und kommt zum Ring.]

Matt Hardy: "You know Morrison, it is a shame that you didn't qualify for the scramble because, well, like Finlay said, because I beat ya. And it's a little odd that the hall-of-famer Tony Atlas and the bodyguard guy Bam Neely are out here because you are not in the scramble. But I'm sure that you guys are out here for some moral support to your respective male partners. If you know what I mean. And that's cool. I think it's great you guys are so close. It is the year 2008. And speaking of male partners, Miz and Morrison. Miz, I thought the only reason you hung around Morrison was because he actually kinda made you look like a tough guy, you know? You know, next to Bam, Chavo, you seem like a supreme conversationist. And Mark, when it comes to you..."

Mark Henry: "Whoa. If I was you, I shut my mouth. Before these people get to see a preview of what's gonna happen at Unforgiven. Because I'd clear this whole ring out. I'm the world's strongest champion. And after Unforgiven, I'll still be the world's strongest champion."

Hardy: "I tell you this, Mark. I hope Tony Atlas gets a good night of sleep. Because he's gonna be very, very busy breaking up pinfalls to save your ECW championship." [Henry und Hardy laufen aufeinander zu, Miz geht dazwischen.]

Miz: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. You are not gonna ruin by fighting this time. You are not gonna ruin the Dirt Sheet." [Doch Morrison greift hinterrücks Matt Hardy an und der große Brawl im Ring entsteht. Tommy Dreamer und Evan Bourne stürmen auch noch in den Ring und befreien den Ring von Atlas, Henry, Miz, Morrison, Chavo und Neely.]