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"And... it's the bottom line, not the bottom lines"

Promo

Promo Data
Title:
"And... it's the bottom line, not the bottom lines"
Date:
05.11.2007
Santino Marella: "Tonight I'm-a goint to put all de rumors to rest. Stone Colda Steve Austin is not going to be here. You see, he'slike your Kobe Bryant: He is bald, he is popular and he does not want to be in Los Angeles. But... it's not all bad. Tonight, we have an actual celebrity in dee audience. Ladies and gentlemen, dee director of 'The Condemned': Scott Wiper. [Die Fans reagieren nicht] No, dere's no need to applause. Trust me, I saw de movie. Scott Wiper, please stand up if you will. 'The Condemned'... oop: Not everything can-a be... good. But let me ask you a question: When you were filming 'The Condemned', at some point did you wish dat de prop guns were real? So you can blow your brains out? I'm sorry, dat was dee audience dat wanted to blow deir brains out.

Look, de fact of de matter is datta Stone Cold Steve Austin is as phony as ... well, people in Los Angeles. [Buhrufe] You see, tonight, dere's not going to be a glass-breaking. Dere's not going to be a can of dee ass-whip being opened. Nobody's going to stomp a mudpie. JR is not going to reach de point of orgasm. Dis is Santino Marella time. And dose are de bottom lines, cause Santino Marella... [Die Musik von Steve Austin ertönt, Santinos Gesicht erstarrt und man kann deutlich das Wort 'Shit' von seinen Lippen ablesen, während Austin sich auf den Weg zum Ring macht]

Steve Austin: "How are you doing, kid? I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin"
Marella: "I'm Santino Marella!"

Austin: "Good to meet ya. Kind of wanna start this segment off by talking about 'The Condemned', we're going to get to 'The Condemned' here in a minute. I've noticed that some of the things you've been saying you've kinda been misquoting Stone Cold Steve Austin and that's something I don't like. For instance, what do you call the can of what?"
Marella: "Ass-whip!"

Austin: "That's not a can of ass-whip, it's a can of whoop-ass! Generally, the can of whoop-ass was something I opened up on somebody when he pissed me off. You said something about the mud?"
Marella: "Stomping a mud-pie!

Austin: "It's not a...[fasst sich bildlich an den Kopf] it's a mudhole. You stomp a mudhole in somebody and then you walk it dry. Do you understand that?"
Marella: "I understand, I speak English... and Italian obviously."

Austin: "And... it's the bottom line, not the bottom lines."
Marella: "But sometimes I like to say more dan one thing."

Austin: "But if you're gonna quote Stone Cold Steve Austin, then you get it right. You understand me?"
Marella: "I understand you and I also appreciate dee education."

Austin: "Very good. So let's talk about The Condemned, cause I've been sittin' around at the house for six weeks watchin' you flap your gums, runnin' the movie down. And I don't think you watched the damn thing."
Marella: "Of course I watched it."

Austin: "Did you watch The Condemned."
Marella: "I watched The Condemned."

Austin: "How many times?"
Marella: "Once."

Austin: "Well, let's talk about it. What did you actually think about it?"
Marella: "Well, you see, Cone Stold Steve Austin-a, you are are a redneck..."

Austin: "And that's about enough of that. What did you think about the action scenes, the fighting, the choreography? Because it was pretty damn riveting if you ask me. Your thoughts on that?"
Marella: "I had to get up an leave de room, because honestly I almost vomited. It is so violent, I can't believe you can do dose things to peo-pell."

Austin: "Did you see all the behind the scenes featurettes, the Making of The Condemned, the bonusses, all the stuffthat we threw at ya, did you watch all that stuff?"
Marella: "After de movie, I was so upset I just turned off de TV. Dat's 90 minutes of my life I cannot get back."

Austin: "So, comin' out here I came out here justa kinda clear this up. And I have to say, I appreciate the fact that you had an honest opinion of The Condemned. Yeah. But when you come out here for six weeks straight running your mouth, you trying to make a name off Stone Cold Steve Austin: ERR ERR! That's something you just don't do. So, to make this the way it should be, why don't we just drink a couple of beers, shake hands, I'm happy you got you're opinion and I can ride off into the sunset. Are you up for drinking a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin? Your thoughts on that?"
Marella: "Personally I would like to have a glass of red vine, vino rosso, because I tried your beer. Itta burned my throat. It isa horrible. Vine is de drink of a person witta culture."

Austin: "Understood. Well then, since you don't wanna drink a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin, I thought the least I can do is come out here, extend that olive branch of friendship and give you a copy of The Condemned so you can really watch it. Because I think it's the best damn action movie to come down in years." [Das Publikum jubelt etwas]
Marella: "Dese people don't know quality."

Austin: "So take this home as a gift from Stone Cold Steve Austin... I ain't through talking yet... put it in your little DVD player and actually watch the damn thing. That's a present from me to you."
Marella: "Stone Cold Steve Austin... The Condemned... Ten people will fight, nine will die, blah blah blah... I...I'm sorry... [wirft die DVD zu Boden und tritt auf ihr herum] I just can't put myself through dat again, Stone Cold Steve Austin."

[Austin verpasst Marella den obligatorischen Stunner und duscht ihn und Maria noch mit einem Bierlaster ab]
8.89
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Average rating: 8.97  [36]
Average rating in 2023: 9.33  [3]
Average rating in 2022: 8.00  [1]
Average rating in 2021: 9.50  [2]
Average rating in 2016: 10.00  [1]
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Average rating in 2012: 9.00  [1]
Average rating in 2010: 7.00  [1]
Average rating in 2009: 7.00  [1]
Average rating in 2008: 9.10  [10]
Average rating in 2007: 8.93  [15]
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