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"You thought you would take a short cut by cheating, by becoming the poster boy for The Authority"

Promo

Promo Data
Title:
"You thought you would take a short cut by cheating, by becoming the poster boy for The Authority"
Worker(s):
Date:
02.03.2015
Seth Rollins: "Welcome to The Daily Show! I am your host, Mr. Money In The Bank Seth Rollins [Buhrufe]. One thing our wonderful announcer failed to mention is that we are eminating tonight from the glorious city that is New York, New Jersey! [Jubel] Wait, wait, wait. No, it's actually not glorious at all. Everyone knows New York is the armpit of America. Look, for the last two weeks, a legend funny man, Jon Stewart, has been talking a whole lot of smack and calling me out saying that he wants a piece of me. Well, let's take a look at how I invaded his version of my show last week.

[Ein Video wird eingespielt wie Seth Rollins die Daily Show von Jon Stewart "besucht"]

Now I verbally dominated Jon Stewart on his own show and tonight I'm here to prove to the world that I can do Jon Stewart's job far better than he ever could. So, let's begin with our first topic of the evening: 'Where is Jon Stewart?' You know, Jon Stewart actually-- he talked a pretty tough game when I was on his turf but since then much like the audience when he hosted the Oscars las year he's been dead silent [lacht]. What do you know, he is also a wuss and a phony but I mean, guys, I really shouldn't be suprised. He's from New Jersey [Buhrufe]. Hey, cool. Let's give Jon Stewart-- no, no, no, no, let's give Jon Stewart some credit where it's deserved. He's a smart guy. He obviously decided not to show up tonight just like all of America didn't show up to the movie he directed last year [lacht] No, no, no, quit it guys. Look, he-- no. I wouldn't show up if I were him either. I mean, Jon Stewart really wants to retire on his own terms and if Jon Stewart showed up here tonight, I would force him to retire immediately because it is quite difficult to do a phony news show with your jaw wired shut.

[Jon Stewart kommt dazu]

Ladies and gentlemen-- Jon Stewart, everybody!"

Jon Stewart: "NEW JERSEY! [Jubel] NEW JERSEY!" [Jubel]

Seth Rollins: "Jon, welcome to The Daily Show. Have a seat, please."

Jon Stewart: "I would normally have a guest, I stand and then they sit but I understand you don't do things that way. Alright. How're you doing? Nice to see you. Once again, Seth Rollins hosting The Daily Show, giving something he did not earn. He did not earn this. You did not earn this."

Seth Rollins: "Ohhh, enough with the jokes, Stewart. I'm just out here proving to the world that I can do your job so much better than you."

Jon Stewart: "You're just out here proving to the world that you can barely read"

[Stewart greift nach Rollins Moderationskarten]

Seth Rollins: "Hey, hey! Enough of your jokes. You wanna come into my ring and try to make a fool out of me?"

Jon Stewart: "No, I don't and I apologize for that. I could not-- I would never make a fool-- how could I make a fool out of a man dressed like a SWAT team stripper with Lady Gaga's hair? How could I do that? [Lacher im Publikum] I'm not here to do that. I'm your friend. I'm-- I'm your friend. I'm here to help you. I'm here to help you. I'm oldschool. I'm not worried about you, I'm from New Jersey. [Jubel] You understand what I'm saying? I'm from New Jersey. Let me say this about New Jersey. You think we're worried about Curb Stomp? This is New Jersey, we used to curb stomped, that's how we greet each other in the morning [Jubel]. In the morning, for brunch. That's a Jersey Brunch. [Zu Mercury] Settle down, Slick. I'm oldschool. I remember the wrestlers that earned it. Bruno Sammartino [Jubel]. Gorilla Monsoon [Jubel]. The greats who earned their titles, who fought their way up. You never fought your way up like the great Mick Foley [Jubel]. You never went up against the establishment like the great Stone Cold [Jubel]. You never fought through injury after injury after injury to become the legend that is The Undertaker, you never did that [Jubel]. You thought you would take a short cut. .

Well, let me tell you something about-- let me tell you something about posters, boy. They get taking down when people get tired of them. And I'm gonna tell you this, you may be stronger then me, you may be better looking then me, you may be taller then me, you're maybe able to lift your arms above your shoulder which I used to be able to do but I can't. But let me tell you this. I have something you'll never have and that's respect [Jubel]. You think The Authority is gonna back you up? The Authority doesn't care about you, Rollins. I prove it to you. Listen to me, I have your attention now. Now this is good. Listen to me. Listen to me. We're going to the Olsen Twins later, let me talk to you. The Authority doesn't care about you. If they cared about you-- let me ask you a question. Who's fighting for the title at WrestleMania? Is it Seth Rollins? Is it Seth Rollins or is it Lensar and Reigns? You're better in the ring, right. Are you better in the ring? You're better on the mic. So why aren't you fighting for the title? Let us think about this. No matter what happens at WrestleMania, weather Lesnar retains or Reigns wins, you're gonna be left with nothing. You're gonna be left holding your briefcase which by the way you didn't earn. Rollins, I was there. I was in Boston for Money In The Bank. This man did not earn that briefcase. You and I both know who's briefcase that is. You and I both know who's briefcase that is. If Kane--"

Seth Rollins: "ENOUGH, STEWART!"

Jon Stewart: "If Kane didn't-- very loud-- if Kane did not--"

Seth Rollins: "Shut up. You've said enough."

Jon Stewart: "That's funny. Drop that on the-- is that a thing there that's just-- I'm gonna wonder what's that. [Wird von Mercury, Noble und Rollins bedrängt] You know what? This has been a lot of fun. I'm gonna go--"

[Rollins packt Stewart am Kragen als Ortons Musik ertönt und Stewart Rollins einen Low Blow verpasst]
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