Ding Dongs

[4.0] "Story time: There I was watching Clash of the Champions 7, recording it live on VHS as I sat there transfixed. When this atomic bomb of wrestlecrap dropped I was shell shocked, utterly stunned. Like a fever dream. The match kept going. This was somehow real. I watched a few more times in frozen terror, disturbed to the point of rigidness. No hyperbole. I was trying to sincerely figure out... Why? What? WHY? The second time I saw them was The Skyscrapers BRUTALLY burying them. They even ripped off the masks and Norman played around with one of them I think. That was the first time I knew I was seeing a MEGA BURIAL and the TOTAL DEATH of a gimmick. It's all so bizarre even all of these decades later. There is no sense to be made of this, it's maddeningly purposeless. I was randomly given the number "3.57" because I have no earthly clue How I would even rate this using logic. Jim Herd was a helluva drug."

[3.0] "As the Rock 'n Roll Rebels, Evans and Sartain were among the second- or third-tier of tag teams with "Rock 'n Roll" in their names, but they had decent enough chemistry and could pull off some of the standard tag team moves of the time, like double dropkicks. But their true claim to fame - or infamy - came in WCW, when they were repackaged with one of the most perplexing tag team gimmicks of all time, the Ding Dongs, in which they came to the ring in orange masks and suits bedecked in bells and, during their match, the non-legal man would incessantly ring a bell attached to the ringpost. They can't be blamed for the gimmick, which was the brainchild of WCW VP Jim Herd (and evolved from, incredibly, an even *worse* idea, in which they would have been cast as the unpinnable hunchback team the Quasimodos). They did as much as anyone could possibly do with the gimmick, and while its reception at the time was overwhelmingly negative, three decades on we're at least left with a classic piece of WrestleCrap."

[0.0] "What can you say about the Ding Dongs except.... what? I can't imagine what it was like for the fans of WCW watching Clash Of The Champions that night only to see a team completely covered in bells coming into the ring. It was a monstrosity that gladly never took place again. The Ding Dongs lasted one night. Which, per chance, was also one night too long."