"You need to have some damn kids"

Randy Orton: "Do you know what I found out just a couple days ago in a couple months? It'll be 25 years to the day that you and I first shook hands. [crowd cheers] 25 years, I have known you for 25 years and I mean this as a compliment, up until a few months ago, you never changed. You were always about hustle, loyalty, respect, it wasn't some catchy slogan for merchandise, it was a way of life, it was your mantra for every day of your life. So I realized these last few months, I need to think long and hard about what's going on, there's a void inside you, John, a void that needs fulfillment, so I started racking my brain and I started thinking about all of the fans over the years. [crowd cheers] The millions and millions of kids that have looked up to you since day one, all the kids that you have motivated, that you have been a role model for--for these kids, they set goals because of you, they accomplished those goals and set more goals, whether was the track field, on the court, in the classroom, you made those children better, generations and generations of children looked up to you. [crowd cheers and claps]

Surely that means something to you, you've granted more wishes than anybody in the history of the Make-A-Wish Foundation. [crowd cheers and claps] You can't tell me, I know you're too well, you cannot tell me that each and every one of those sick children that you've met left with a peace of your heart, you can't tell me that they were just a number, I know that that meant something to you, so I figured out how to fill the void. Take it from me, John, You need to have some damn kids. Wait. Could you imagine a bunch of square-jawed, thick, fore-armed little Cena's running around? [crowd laughs] The world would be a better place, and then you would be back to who you are, who you truly are, who I know you are, you need to become a father man, grow up, it'll make you a better human being. [crowd cheers] [no mic] It changes your heart, this is some real shit."

John Cena: "How dare you? [crowd boos] How dare you prance out here with a smile on your face, under the guise of making me feel better and then parents shame me in front of the whole world? [crowd cheers and claps] Congratulations, Randy Orton, you have children and you love them, good for you. Do you want to know the real reason why I don't have kids? [To the crowd] Because I've spent the last 25 years raising yours! [crowd cheers] And, by the sound of it from this group tonight, I have done an impeccable job. [crowd cheers] Here is the real truth, for the last 25 years, I have been a better parent to your children than you could EVER be. [to a child in the audience] That's right kid, your dad's a loser. [crowd cheers] Oh great, a six-year-old just gave me the finger, [crowd cheers] classy, very, very classy. [to Orton] That, sir, that is why I don't have kids, I've been policing brats like this for a quarter of a century! [To a fan] Bit of advice kid, never bring a knife to a gunfight. Bet your loser dad didn't teach you that one. Don't look at me like you're gonna do something either."

Randy Orton: "John."

John Cena: "Are we done here?"

Randy Orton: "John, no, we're not even close to being done. Man, God, has--has that Hollywood rot has it set so deep inside your brain, you can't even hear what I'm saying right now? It doesn't have to be one or the other, these fans are the reason why you are here standing before me in this ring, right now, they're the reason you're in Hollywood, right now, WWE is why you made it to Hollywood and you are crushing it, you cut your teeth here, you honed your skills here, you developed your work ethic in this ring, you took it to Hollywood and, like I said, you are crushing it, without the WWE, there is no Hollywood and without the WWE universe, there is no WWE, no matter which way you add it up, no matter what kind of math you apply to it, these fans are the biggest reason that you were standing here today in this ring with me. [crowd cheers] John, I've made a lot of mistakes throughout my life, throughout my career, I've learned from them, I've had a long journey but I can go in that locker room, I can hold my head up high and I get respect from my peers, I am a piece of furniture here, I am here to stay. You? Man, you're just a guest."

John Cena: "We all have our perspectives, I used to believe yours, that without them there is no WWE, I used to think that we won together, I was wrong, we didn't win anything, I did. I have never needed a single one of these people, they will chant, [mild boos] they will chant in the same breath, "Let's Go Cena, Cena Sucks." [the crowd obliges] I just called out a rando and he turned pale white, imagine being told you suck for 25 years, they don't mean anything to me! You are just like all of them, you're all hypocrites. [crowd boos] Because once you get tired of me, you can put your energy into any superstar you want to cheer for, but if the roles are reversed and I put my energy into anything other than this, I'm an outcast, I'm a guest! That's why this is dysfunctional, that's why this doesn't work anymore, that is not a functional relationship, that is manipulation! You are simply manipulating the truth to make yourself feel good that you have done nothing with your lives! [To a fan] The only thing that man right there has done is dress up to look like Jack Black. He's a 100 years old and that's all he has to say for his life, I get criticized and labeled as an outcast, a guest for simply trying to do something different." [crowd chants "What?"]

Randy Orton: "You know what? You know what you know what I was, so I was so stupid. I was so stupid, stupid, stupid to come out here and think for one second that in this weird bizarro world where I'm a good guy and you're a bad guy that you would somehow listen to what I'm saying, but the words that are coming out of my mouth, they're not penetrating your thick ass skull, are they? John, Cody Rhodes--before his badass entrance music starts, it says, wrestling has more than one royal family. You know, he's not just talking about his family, right? He's also talking about my family! [crowd cheer] You want to ruin wrestling?! Wrestling has given me everything ever since I came out of my mother's womb, wrestling has provided for me, wrestling will provide for me, my children, my loved ones, until I am put six feet in the freaking ground. Ruin wrestling?! You're not gonna ruin wrestling, not over my dead body."

John Cena: "SHUT YOUR MOUTH! [crowd cheers] You just don't understand, do you? I'll explain it to you, I've already won 17, okay? You've won 14? But after I take this home with me, you are forever FROZEN at 14! Yes, there will be another show, you will have other matches, they will create some tinfoil title and decide a champion and if you are lucky to ever get your hands on it, your counter starts over at one, you babbling moron! [Mild boos] What I am trying to do, Randy Orton, is when I leave here, make sure three generations of your family is erased!" [crowd goes "Ooh" and chants "RKO"]

Randy Orton: "You say you're the last real champ? Alright, prove it, right here, right now, put that title on the line, [crowd cheers] and fight me, right here right now, come on! [without a mic] Yeah, yeah, you ain't erasing my family's history, no way in hell! How DARE you say that to me after everything we've been through?! How dare you say that?! How dare you?!" [Cena raises his belt as the crowd cheers]

John Cena: "No. [crowd boos] No, and just like so many times over the past 25 years, I'm doing it to save your ass. There should be a match, Randy Orton vs John Cena for the Undisputed Championship, [crowd cheers] but it shouldn't happen here. [crowd boos] I've already given you a hard enough time, it's not your fault, it's for Randy, it should happen at Backlash, Randy. [crowd cheers] Because Backlash is in St. Louis, [mild boos] I know that's hard for you to hear, but for Randy, it's great because Randy is from St. Louis. So you can spend the whole day with your family, Randy, you make sure you show up well rested, Randy Orton at his best, because I need Randy at his best. Because, after Backlash, when you fail, you will have no excuses. [Mild boos] Take a good look, Randy, [raises belt up] this is what the last, real champion looks like, [crowd cheers] and this is as close to this championship as you're ever going to get."

Credit: Thanks to inmate JediSaiyanMaster1203 for transcribing this promo