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"Welcome to Monday NyQuil"

Promo

Promo Data
Title:
"Welcome to Monday NyQuil"
Date:
28.10.1995
[We're backstage with Beulah McGillicutty]

Beulah McGillicutty: "Hi, I'm Beulah, and welcome to Beulah's Box. This week, my Box is going to get an up-close and personal feel for something that's... a big stick of dynamite. TNT - you never know when it's gonna explode. And best of all... it's live!" [She gestures to a desk, where Steve Austin is present, wearing a suit jacket and wig to look like Eric Bischoff, and rummaging under his desk to bring up some balloons.]

Steve Austin: "Hello everybody! And welcome to Monday NyQuil, where the big boys play with each other! I apologise for the balloons, but I had to fire the pyro technician guy because he couldn't show up - I did it over the phone, no less, but I had to fire him! Okay, right here where the big boys play with each other, on my right as of always, Bongo! Bongo, how you doin'? [camera pans to a set of bongo drums, which Austin sweeps off the desk, see Note 1] Okay! Now, 'The Brain' couldn't be here tonight - pan over here to where 'The Brain's supposed to be - 'Brain' couldn't be here, so I had my secretary leave a message on his answering machine, and when he calls me, I'm gonna fire him, on the phone, just like I did Austin! [see Note 2] Because that's the way I deal with people! I'm not a very brave man, and that's the bottom line! Okay, big show tonight, like I said! If you're watching another channel, get over here! If you're thinking about watching another wrestling promotion, don't do it, because this is the only one that's live! [see Note 3]

Okay, big main event tonight, never before seen on TV, the most dangerous match in the world, and you're gonna see it here on Monday NyQuil! Oh yeah! Yes, right here on Monday NyQuil! Bottle of Geritol on a pole match! First time ever in the world! You're gonna see all the old codgers here in our organization, and they're gonna be scrapping around, and using their walkers, trying to keep their dentures in, and they're going for it, because this is the hottest show on TV! Brother, this is the bottom line! We're number one! And I repeat, that I already fired 'The Brain' over the phone. Oh yeah, this is where the big boys play with each other! Oh yeah, did I tell you that we're number one? Okay, I'm gonna go... okay, the cameraman's telling me we gotta go to a break! I'm gonna tell you right now, I don't know the names of any of the holds, but I'm gonna sit here and fumble around, and bumble around, and if I put you to sleep... if I don't put you to sleep, the matches probably will! So bear with us, this is Monday NyQuil, and we're LIVE!"
- Credit: Thanks to inmate Sky23 for contributing this transcription.

- Note 1: A reference to Steve 'Mongo' McMichael, who co-commentated WCW Monday Nitro alongside Bischoff and Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan at the time.

- Note 2: As detailed in his autobiography "The Stone Cold Truth", Eric Bischoff's decision to fire Austin via phone (despite Austin living in the Atlanta area near WCW Headquarters) was a source of legitimate heat. Austin felt it disrespected him, and that the polite way to let him go would have been to inform him face-to-face and with a handshake.

- Note 3: At the time, Nitro was the only 100% live show. The WWE/F's Monday Night Raw was, at least partially, a taped show (some episodes were live, while others were taped in advance). This continued to be the case until September 1999 when, with the advent of Smackdown, RAW went live every Monday, with Smackdown taped on Tuesdays.
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