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"RAW is SNORE is now dead and buried and long live RAW is JERICHO!"
The Undertaker: "Play time's over, sit down and shut up. Later on tonight, there's gonna be a match for the tag team titles between the Acolytes and X-Pac & Kane, whatever whatever, it's not important. The fact of the matter is, this Sunday at Summerslam the winner of that match will come face to face with this. And to make sure that my man was right, this week I put him to the test. I had Paul Bearer call out to California - San Fernando Valley to some associates of ours at the Local 81 - Paul said we're gonna need two bikes for a ride in the desert. The guy said 'Brother Paul, now we know that the Dead Man can handle it, but I don't know about the Big Show. It's August, it's 120 degrees in the middle of Death Valley.' He says 'the only things that survive in the desert are the cold-blooded...the snakes and the lizards.' Paul said 'that's all right, and in one of those bikes that you're setting up for us, I want you the Big Show to only have enough gas to get to the middle of the desert and not get back.'
So we're on our way - we get to the middle of Death Valley - 120 degrees, the Big Show's bike runs out of gas. And I pull up next to him and I ask him this question: 'It's 120 degrees, how are you gonna survive?' He looks me straight in the eyes, without hesitation, he says 'I'm gonna wait 'til you go to sleep, I'm gonna stab you in the back, I'm gonna cut your flesh off, make a coat out of it, and I'm gonna eat YOUR flesh until I find food.' I said 'Good answer big man, but I don't sleep,' and I drove off and left him. I waited on the outskirts of the desert. Two days later, he walks out with a snake necktie and lizard boots, carryin' his Harley-Davidson on his shoulder. The point of the story is this. What used to be known as SummerSlam will now be known as Armageddon, and whoever shows up...will be hurt."
[Chris Jerichos Countdown erscheint auf dem Titantron und Jericho betritt die Rampe.]
Chris Jericho: "Welcome to RAW is JERICHO!
And this is exactly what I was talking about last week. You two giant slugs have been out here for what, three, four minutes? And already you've forced these poor people to drift off into their own little worlds, completely oblivious to what you're saying, and completely oblivious to you. I mean you two morons couldn't string together two intelligent words and I was forced to come out here and save this segment! Personification of evil - ha! I say personification of BOREDOM! The only thing scary about you two is the amount of TV time you get which causes the people to pick up the remote and change the channel, looking for a hero.
Well STOP changing the channel because your hero has ARRIVED! Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF...finally, there's a man who's entertaining enough and exciting enough to bring this company back to prominence and make some money for this beleagured promotion - and I'm here to say that 'RAW is SNORE' is now dead and buried and long live 'RAW is JERICHO!' And now that the Y2J problem is here, this company, from the front office employees to all the idiots in the dressing room, to the two biggest idiots of all,will never, e-e-e-ever be the same, again!"
The Undertaker: "Hey boy, I don't know who you are or who you think you are, but judging from that peach fuzz you're trying to grow on your chin, I can tell I got more shower time than you've got ring time, and if you ever, and I mean ever, decide to interrupt me again, it will be your last time...and that is a promise."
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Number of comments: 3
Average Rating: 6.00
Average in 2012: 4.50
Average in 2010: 9.00
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Devon Moore: "Ian, you're right. Tomorrow night, I'm gonna need a lot of luck, but there's one thing you forgot, boss. I might have called you drunk to be booked for 'King Of The Death Matches', but I came to 'King Of The Death Matches' to win 'King Of The Death...Read on!
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